I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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