Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
