thus making me awesome and them whores
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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