why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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