Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
