I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
