I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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