North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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