the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize