would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
