My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
and you fell through a lawn chair
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize