I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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