I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize