why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
