he puts the penis in happiness.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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