in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
