Fuck appropriateness.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
