i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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