how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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