I need help removing her.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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