The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
