So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
