How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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