chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
