I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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