he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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