# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
