Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
