I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
