My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
