No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
