Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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