so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
