Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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