Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
