Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
