take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
