Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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