Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
