I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
