drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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