we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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