Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
