Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
