Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
