i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
