HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
