worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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