We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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