i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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