I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
