Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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