I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
