Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
