he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
