i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
