And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
