can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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