yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My dick has a subreddit
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize