What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
