sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
