areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
