i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
