So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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