that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
