whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
