Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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