break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize