He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
