i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
