I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
